(Post) 2020 Vision
March 16, 2020. This was the last day I remember my life as ‘normal’. Never in my wildest dreams I thought I would live through a world-wide pandemic. A month prior, I started a new job, was at my lowest weight, worked out every day at 6AM, cut alcohol out of my life and thought my life was absolutely perfect. This day was the beginning of a new chapter, although it didn’t seem that way while living through it.
I am a human that thrives off of routine and feel my best self when I have a healthy balance of work and play. When this was abruptly taken away from me, I fell hard into depression and lost all control. My eating habits suffered, my self-care diminished and did not see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was a long two-months on furlough. Looking back, two months was quite the blessing compared to others; especially since I had a job to go back to.
Peanut butter and Honey Nut Cheerios was my go-to quarantine snack. I would eat almost the whole box of Cheerios in a day, easily finishing it within days. I was swollen, inflamed and stubbornly fixated and bothered at the fact that I was a young, 25-year-old single girl and my life was being stripped away from me. I suffered from binge-eating moments, made unhealthy choices and suffered from a roller coaster of emotions.
I thought I was at my best self-pre-pandemic, but looking back, I suffered from disordered eating where I would consume at most 1,200 calories per day and worked out constantly. I limited my social life because of the fear of gaining weight. This restrictive life-style turned into binge-eating episodes and then food guilt, which became a constant cycle taking over my life.
Today, I am here in May 2021. Balanced. I consume foods that help my body function, providing me with the energy and fuel I need to get through my long hour days. Food guilt and calorie counting has diminished, I have found a work-out routine and of course allow myself to enjoy the wine and pasta. I am 26 for heaven’s sake!
I can happily say that after one year of getting somewhat of my routine back, I have become a healthier version of myself emotionally, physically and nutritionally. The pandemic allowed me to go through challenges and obstacles and because of that, I have truly become an even better version of myself than I was pre-pandemic. A whole year. I was lucky enough to start my journey back in May of 2020, some others not so much. So, if you are still on that journey of getting back your groove and routine, that’s okay. It doesn’t come over night. Your life is a constant journey. We are constantly growing and changing; physically, mentally and spiritually.
It takes time to find a healthy balance of self-love, acceptance and making better choices physically and nutritionally. I am constantly working on myself daily to become stronger and wiser. If it wasn’t for 2020, my found love for God and the support I received, I wouldn’t be where I am today. You will get there too, it’s all about taking the small steps to doing so.